Don't feel like you have to read this to be honest. It's not necessarily important so.I've been in an ongoing positive/happy mood lately, for the most part at least. There's been down moments, but they generally don't last long. In all honesty, this mood seemed to kick in when I stepped away from Sonic junk and started watching Marvel movies, and and reading about Loki, and watching a bunch of interviews with the actors I've come to really like from the movies. (More specifically interviews and such with Tom Hiddleston, if I'm gonna be honest/clearer in this journal. He's such a sweet person. Like, I can't not be happy while watching stuff with him.
Every one in the Marvel cast gives off that kind of tone as well though really.) Anyhow, the point is, I'm in a good mood. A lot more talkative and energetic it seems as well.
I've also still been thinking about personal stuff. More so a little on possible futures, as well as on the idea of gender and orientation. Still trying to imagine the idea of going into animation or acting, but mostly I've been sort of, I guess, dreaming about the idea of living with multiple people to do silly things with, and go to cool places with. (Like, conventions, and theme parks and all that jazz.) Basically, I guess I just can't really picture my self alone in the future when it comes to ideals for later in life.
This mixes with orientation in a way I guess, which I'm still pretty unsure about really (I'm at a loss between thinking I'm probably pansexual, but then realizing I may more so fall under a 'catagory' in asexuality, or maybe i'm possibly straight?; so, basically, nothing's completely figured out there yet.), but I've still sort of been brushing over the idea of some kind of love life down the line. I think my 'ideal partner standards' may be a little high though.
But, eh. Things will come when they come.
Finally, the topic of gender. Now, I was keeping my thoughts to my self, but I did sort of start talking to someone who did a guessing game basically to find out which topic I wasn't sure about ever bring up or not. I mean, the conversation went on for maybe 8 messages and then derailed into advice for the topic of orientation that I won't bring up, (It was an awkward situation that didn't last long basically.), but it brought me to this point of actually bringing it up more publicly, I guess... Anyhow, the point is, I've been thinking about it. At that point in time, I thought "maybe I'm gender neutral, or I guess possibly agender?", but then all that stuff happened and I went silent about my thoughts on that again and now it's sort of changed. I'm not 100% sure of course, but I'm coming to the conclusion that I may honestly fall as gender fluid at this point. (I'd feel bad making people refer to me with different pronouns though, since everyone I know is use to calling me a girl/female and such.
)
I won't go into detail or what ever with this, but you know. Still figuring things out basically.
I guess I just thought that I should put it out of my mind some where, and twitter just felt too 'intimidating' when it comes to going over stuff like thing in a way I guess.
Though, I still am slightly afraid in general even here. (There's a constant fear with the idea of people I talk to starting to think less of me or something due to opinions and such I've seen from people I consider friends on here and else where so. That's probably something a lot of people face though. Yeah.)
(Sorry if there are any spelling mistakes anywhere. I currently don't have time to read everything over. Sorry to bother people with this.)